I enjoyed both of Aimee Bender's stories that we read, of the two I enjoyed "Ironhead" the most because I could relate to the story as a parent. The love a good parent has for their child(ren) is all consuming at times; I have often wondered how parents are able to deal with the death of their child. I worked with two women that tragically lost their children within a short time of each other, one due to suicide and the other an only child died in a horrific car accident, I always wondered how they made it through everyday because I am not sure how I would survive if one of my children died.
In class assignment I chose to write a letter, unfortunately I wasn't feeling incredibly creative on Monday.
Dear Aimee,
I read two of your stories today, "Mother-Fucker" and "Ironhead", I enjoyed both stories for very different reasons. The "Mother-Fucker" brought initial feelings of rage towards the main character, I thought what a douche bag this guy was. As I continued to read the story my rage lessened as I realized the person he was helped the actress become the woman she became. If that makes sense. Sometimes we encounter people in our life that by their behaviour leave an impact that is sometimes positive and unfortunately sometimes not so positive.
The Second Story I read was "Ironhead", this story brought a great sense of sadness to me. At first I wondered if the pumpkin head couple referred to a racially mixed couple because their children were one more yellow and the other a dark orange (130). I have raised two children, one white and the other racial mixed, we have encountered many prejudices along the way. My son is blond blue eyed and my daugther is an exotic looking brunette with brown eyes, they stuck out as being different than other kids.
There were other references in your story that I wondered about like on page 129 when she told her boyfriend (he later becomes her husband) "I'm getting cooked", was this a reference to a biological clock ticking away? If that was the case it made me think that the third child born seven years later was a late in life baby that are at risk for downs syndrome. Downs syndrome children often have larger heads/faces than regular children, and can be bigger in size than other children, tying into the comment about the other kids assuming he was a tough guy (133).
When the child dies I feel this immense amount of sadness for his parents as they are burying their son and the people around them are being insensitive. I can almost hear others saying something as callous as it is for the best. Someone telling them that the death of their child was for the best because of his handicap could have the effect of being hit with an iron. One of my cousins has a son that was born with Spinal bifa, he has had a very tough life with many surgeries and hospital stays, but he has survived and today he is in his early twenties. I could not imagine telling his parents if he died that it was for the best.
The very last part of the story brings home what I often wondered about the two ladies I worked with, how do you keep moving on through life when you lose your child? Does the pain ever go away? For the Pumpkin heads it is very evident that the pain doesn't go away.
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